If you are wondering why your child won’t get out of bed, it could be due to a number of external and internal factors in their life, from stress and mental health struggles to avoidance, social pressure, brain function, and more. However, this is not healthy behaviour, and steps need to be taken to prevent it from getting worse and impacting your child even more negatively.
When Is Staying in Bed More Than Just Laziness?
There are a few signs that might suggest that staying in bed is more than mere laziness—when doing this starts to negatively affect your child’s life, when it doesn’t seem to help improve their mental well-being, and when it is done too frequently. These are key behaviours and changes to be aware of and monitor, so when you start to notice them, you need to pay more attention.
When it starts to impact your child’s life, staying in bed becomes more than laziness. Staying in your bed all day can make you feel worse, both physically and mentally, and if you use it as a means of avoiding responsibility, then doing this is inherently unhealthy—but that doesn’t mean that you are not allowed to have the occasional ‘lazy day’ and be in bed all day when it’s appropriate. We all enjoy the occasional day of no responsibilities, but you are meant to feel better after doing it, not worse.
What Are Some Possible Reasons Your Child Won’t Get Out of Bed?
Possible reasons why your child won’t get out of bed include sleep deprivation, which could be linked to poor sleep hygiene, emotional overload and struggling mental health, disrupted sleep cycles, screen addiction, social pressure, and avoidance. However, every child is different, and you should not jump to conclusions before you try and help them overcome what they are struggling with.
Sleep Deprivation or Poor Sleep Hygiene
Sleep hygiene refers to both your behaviours and your sleeping environment. Unfortunately, many people have issues with poor sleep hygiene (such as napping too often/for too long, not having a nightly routine, not sticking to a sleep/wake schedule, and being in an unsuitable environment for sleeping) that will prevent them from getting the rest they need, cause sleep deprivation, and make them want to stay in bed all day.
Anxiety, Depression, or Emotional Overload
Anxiety, depression, and emotional overload are all exhausting, and they can make anyone want to stay in bed all day for comfort. Doing this also allows the person to not have to face the things they don’t want to—this could be talking to people, chores, or anything else.
Screen Addiction and Disrupted Sleep Cycles
Screen addiction (e.g. social media like TikTok), doomscrolling, and disrupted sleep cycles can play a key role in why your child won’t get out of bed, and it can be challenging to rectify. As part of having good sleep hygiene, everyone should aim to put their electronic devices away 30 minutes to an hour before they want to sleep in order to allow time for the brain to slow down and the winding down process to begin.
Similarly, disrupted sleep cycles can occur as a result of poor sleep hygiene. Ensure that you stick to a good routine and try to wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day—even on the weekends. You should also try to ensure that the household doesn’t have any heavy meals two hours before bed, and that caffeine and alcoholic beverages are not drunk in the hours leading up to bedtime.
Avoidance of School or Social Pressures
Social pressures and the pressures of life can be challenging to handle, and when life gets too hard, many of us will resort to avoidant behaviours. One of these behaviours could be lying in bed all day—but it won’t do any good. Be aware of what your child is going through and try to help them through it, or get them the help they need.
Understanding the Adolescent Brain and Sleep
Melatonin levels typically stay high later at night and drop later in the morning in adolescents, which will result in different sleep schedules that we see in teenagers. In today’s world, many teens also do not get enough sleep (recommended amount is eight–10 hours), which can make impulse control difficult, mood low, and a negative shift in mental and physical well-being.
While it is not normal for a teenager to sleep all day, it helps to be compassionate and try to stick to a good routine that works. This, paired with frequent physical exercise, socialisation, hobbies, and more, will help improve sleep schedules and sleep quality.
When to Worry: Warning Signs of Something More Serious
You should worry about why your child won’t get out of bed or get up when their behaviour negatively impacts them. This could come in the form of avoidance, social isolation, more signs of mental health concerns, worsening physical health, and more. If this happens, you should speak with a professional to get their opinion and help.
How Do You Support Your Child with Compassion and Boundaries?
Remember to be empathetic, and always come from a place of compassion. However, it is crucial that you set boundaries from a young age to help with sleep issues that can result in you asking why your child won’t get out of bed. Sleep hygiene, routines, and understanding where the behaviour comes from are all necessary.
You may need to get electronic devices ‘handed in’ before bedtime to prevent scrolling, keep other electronics (like gaming consoles and TVs) out of bedrooms, or turn off the internet at a set time to help with boundaries and improve sleep.
Remember that lying in bed all day is not always a bad thing, but it must be done sparingly when it is actually needed. There is a difference between rest and ‘bed rotting’, and understanding the reason behind the behaviour is key.
|
Rest |
Avoidance |
|
Productive |
Unproductive |
|
Leaves you feeling recovered/better |
Leaves you feeling worse/more anxious |
|
A healthy measure to take a break and stop what you are doing to recover and relax for a while to feel better/more ready to jump back in |
An attempt to avoid stress or lessen anxiety by procrastinating, cancelling, or avoiding something that you don’t want to and need to do |
How Do You Improve Sleep Hygiene?
Have good sleep hygiene, and be a good role model while you teach your children. Improve your sleep hygiene by:
- Keep lights dim or off – bright lights reduce melatonin production, so make sure that you keep lights dim around bedtime, or off completely to facilitate sleep
- Avoid tossing and turning – form a healthy connection between sleeping and your bed, and get up and go do something (read a book, stretch, meditate, any no-screen activity) if you fail to fall asleep within 20 minutes before you try again
- Keeping a consistent routine – try to follow a routine that you can turn into a habit. This will form the connection in your mind and subconsciously let your brain know that it’s time to go to sleep
- Do something that relaxes you – focus on relaxing rather than going to sleep, and practice paced breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and other relaxing activities to help get you in the right state of mind to get to sleep
- Stay off electronics before bedtime – avoid further mental stimulation and blue light by putting all electronic devices away 30 minutes to an hour before you get in bed, giving yourself a healthy buffer between device use and sleeping
- Give yourself enough time to wind down – allow yourself at least 30 minutes to wind down after your busy day, and do something that will calm you. This can be listening to music, reading, drawing, or anything else you like to do that has a calming effect
How The Brain Workshop Can Help Your Child Rebuild Healthy Habits
The reason why your child won’t get out of bed will differ from one person to the next, but as a guardian, it is your responsibility to take action if the behaviour worries you. You will remember the struggles of adolescence, and you are probably all too familiar with the feeling of wanting to spend a day between pillows and comfortable blankets, but understanding when to be worried is key.
Concerned your child’s behaviour could be more than tiredness? Speak to a specialist at The Brain Workshop—we’re here to help support your child’s emotional and mental wellbeing.
If you would like to learn more or get tested for ADHD, please don’t hesitate to learn more about us at the Brain Workshop, meet our team, check out events, or even read our FAQ. Or, find out more about how doomscrolling affects a child’s developing brain, fasting, how to stay productive in school during the holy month, and how to manage exams during this time.
